The Mad Singaporean

Everyone hates Mondays.

You see half dead and grumpy faces everywhere on the buses and the trains. People literally drag their feet to work. Can almost see the sides of their lips drooping all the way to the floor. what a sight. It is fascinating to see Singaporeans who are so eager to rush into the trains just to catching up on two solid and wonderful minutes of sleep. Somehow, I am always amazed at how people are able to balance on the train without holding onto any grab-holds, but yet able to catch a power nap at the same time. Better still ,how wonderful it is to have a scent of the combination of sickening sweet deodorant, sweat and gel of the man next to you who is drenched in his own sweat.

But back to Mondays. The comforting nature and magic of weekends fizzles out at the strike of 7am for me. Somewhat like a death knell, Leslie's familiar rendition of Beijing opera (my alarm) fills my room with an awful stench of dread. The ploughman readies his tools and prepares himself to stumble into that ominous week ahead. I know I am not alone on Mondays. The entire world mourns for one another, mindful of the unrelenting blues that creep into their lives at the start of the week like clockwork.

As I sip on my coffee that never seems to take effect on Mondays, I hear a familiar jingle that nobody seems to hear but me (快乐快乐烧坏，爸爸妈妈不在 NA NA NA NA NA NA~ x 48）.

I chuckled silently and the Colosseum roars into action once more. well, at least for the next five days until the magic returns again.

S-League

After winning the Malaysia Cup in 1994, Singapore was kicked out of the tournament altogether by our neighbours for involving in match fixing. Incidentally, their state clubs did not even get reprimanded at all. Well, it was a chance for us to develop our own professional league with the help of Douglas Moore, who won us our first Malaysia Cup since 1980.


12 years on, we have almost half of the league made up of feeder clubs of foreign teams. True enough, these teams have provided us the likes of Shi Jiayi, Agu, Itimi Dickson (anyone knows where he is now?), Qiu Li and also, the Sporting Afrique players who survived in Singapore with $100 per month. However, we DID NOT see the birth of another Fandi Ahmad. Not even another Tamil Marren. So what went wrong?


It has definitely got to do with the way we constructed our league. Look, a league with no relegation system is like playing zero points - if you lose, just join in the fun again! So where is the competition? How to improve if there is no competition?


I really hope that Yaya Madon can make a come back.....

Ninth Time of Asking

To scum(chuckles)it up, following comment was heard on that fateful Saturday night:
轩 爸 (immediately after being informed of the score): "呜。。利物扑赢? 利物扑会赢的啊?"

Hopefully it won't be another 7 years b4 the nxt win over our scumiest rivals. In Rafa we trust(till the nxt flop match).

Half an hour later...

轩 爸 (coming out frm room to check FT score of later games): "呜。。Newcastle 输给那队新上来的啊。。"

*好笑*

PS: this is ur guest editor writing, after stepping away frm the scene for a while to cope with severe depression. For those who enjoyed my previous post on a certain "salty and bright biscuit", pls stay tuned for my upcoming post on another highly bemusing encounter with someone i could only describe as "despicably incompetent human".
/slits forearms and gives high face

Green Eggs & Ham by Dr. Seuss

if i did spoil your ktv experience due to my outburst yesterday , i apologize for all the inconvenience caused for ruining your pleasant saturday afternoon. care to 批斗 荷兰村之辱?

On a separate note, if you have the chance, try watching I am Sam. Sean Penn as a mentally challenged father who tries to raise his daughter in his own way has earned my respect. I cant believe i took so long to watch this masterpiece.

Before I go, if you can choose your favorite retard in entertainment, who will you choose, Hoffman's Rainman, Penn's Sam or Christopher's Ah Hock?

Well, I'll personally go for Andrew Seow's 答滴. (答滴！我要特答滴！)

And that's it for this week before I start planning how to tear out 荷兰村之辱's guts. All the best for the week ahead, dear fans.

KTV Session

Despite of what my co-editor had said in his previous post, we do have a great time at the KTV joint yesterday. Songs from the 1990s were immensely popular during the discounted session. Renditions of songs by Jimmy Lim, Aaron Kwok, Andy Lau, Ukelele, Eason Chan and many others were performed by the inspiring babies from the 80s (though one of the participants actually fell asleep towards the end of the ordeal, and it was indeed a disrespectful act to the event).


At the end of the session, the participants actually agreed that apart from the less than desirable customer service, it was a fun afternoon outing. Kudos to all the 80s babies who turned up yesterday!

Star Search

"Hi, my name is Li Qin, I am currently looking for new faces..."


"Sorry,I am not interested."


Do these people have to lie in my face to get that paltry sum of commission? Get a life!

Extra! Extra! Best Place in Town! Extra! Extra!

If you want to be cheated of half an hour of ktv time, and wait for drinks that took almost one solid hour after orders were taken, look no further, heres an apparently hot spot for ktv in town. Smacked right at the center of Orchard Road, shopping facilities at Heeren and a popular coffee franchise from USA are nearby.

If you want to be requested to clarify some information with another employee on your own accord and time; or to be doubted of your integrity, this is the perfect place to be. In fact, staff are trained to confuse customers by telling them all sorts of stories about drink orders. So be rest assured, if you want your ktv session with friends whom you meet infrequently to be ruined somewhat, I believe this is the place for you.

For more information, please contact editors directly. They will arrange for a STUDENT PRICE package specially for you.

富士山下

攔路雨偏似雪花　飲泣的你凍嗎　這風褸我給你磨到有襟花
連調了職也不怕　怎麼始終牽掛　苦心選中今天想車你回家
原諒我不再送花　傷口應要結疤　花辦鋪滿心裡墳場才害怕
如若你非我不嫁　彼此終必火化　一生一世等一天需要代價

＊誰都只得那雙手　靠擁抱亦難任你擁有
要擁有必先懂失去怎接受　曾沿著雪路浪遊
為何為好事淚流　誰能憑愛意要富士山私有
何不把悲哀感覺假設是來自你虛構　試管裡找不到它染污眼眸
前塵硬化像石頭　隨緣地拋下便逃走
我絕不罕有 往街裡繞過一周　我便化烏有＊

情人節不要說穿　只敢撫你髮端　這種姿態可會令你更心酸
留在汽車裡取暖　應該怎麼規勸　怎麼可以將手腕忍痛劃損
人活到幾歲算短　失戀只有更短　歸家需要幾里路誰能預算
忘掉我跟你恩怨　櫻花開了幾轉　東京之旅一早比一世遙遠

Repeat ＊＊

你還嫌不夠　我把這陳年風褸　送贈你解咒

In the Pursue of Our Dreams

This is a road less travelled.


How many times do we wake up in the morning asking ourselves what do we want in life? Do we want a posh apartment? A nice car? A fat paycheck? Well, I know that sometimes we just want to leave everything behind here for a well deserved vacation.


I have been working non-stop ever since I returned from Hong Kong in late May. Did I gain anything from my work apart from monetary rewards? Absolutely positive. I have learned how to survive in this world whereby a single weakness spotted will result in you being condemned for the rest of your life in this line of mine. Things are so bad that I even mistook my co-editor's jeans for mine. This is absolutely true.



I know that the readership of our blog has been falling ever since I went on a hiatus. But as long as there is one fan, I will continue to write, because this is MY dream.



Kudos to my co-editor for not giving up on me and this blog. Watch out for this space for more.



One World, One Dream (My Ass)

Olympiak ah Olympiak!

this is long overdue.

Being Singaporean is not about ancestry but rather choice and conviction. So cut those fine Singaporeans some slack!

Like Mr Tan Howe Liang, they have done something many of us cant even come close to. As a fellow Singaporean, I feel exceptionally proud of their achievements. Reckon that this is our first medal after independence, nothing can take away their choice and conviction in representing the Republic. Not you, Lee Bee Wah, and not you xenophobic Singaporeans out there.

Ask your gramps and nana where they came from and you will understand where I am coming from. ask yourself whether you felt Feng Tian Wei's pain and Li Jia Wei's agony and Tao Li's near miss. didnt you feel nothing at all? oh come on, embrace their diversity. Love their uniqueness. Feel for them. Coz that is what makes Singapore unique - Unity in Diversity. And that is all I have to say.

Congratulations Team Singapore. And thumbs down to Lee Bee Wah for being such a cold blanket.

Disclaimer: this editor is not being held at gunpoint by anyone at the time of publishing.

瓶颈 II

瓶颈

打不死的蟑螂

Just when you guys thought that I have been eliminated from this world, sorry to disappoint....I AM BACK. Yes, indeed, back in one piece. I have to admit that I was drunk three weeks back and I puked at the void deck of a HDB flat, but that incident did not mean that I have to pull out from this blog...and NO, I DID NOT TURN INTO A CHARACTER IN MASTER Q!!!!!! There is definitely a conspiracy to create an impression that I have ceased to be an editor of this blog.


Enough said, life so far has been tough for me. It's so hard to find time for my love ones and my friends (not you, Ben). I have decided to play a more active role in this blog by writing more posts in the future so that I can keep in touch with all of them, including my fans out there. Mark my words.


Watch out, Mr Siva.

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